Oct 21- Day 59

I just made the most amazing spaghetti dinner tonight. Either that or my taste buds are completely screwed up and my normal, bland style of cooking surprisingly tasted 10 times better today. I doubt that I’ve become a better cook in one day so something else has to be going on.

It might be that for the last 4 days I’ve not been able to keep any food in my stomach. That I’ve had such severe stomach cramps that thoughts of food did not enter into my brain. That until tonight, even jello and chicken broth were too much to handle. I’ve lain on my hard tile bathroom floor for 2 nights until 3am fearful of getting too far away from the toilet and I’ve thought that living doesn’t sound like the better option if it’s spent feeling this miserable.

It was so strange though how quickly it all turned around. I got up today and decided that I just had to get up and go to work because if I spent another full day in bed I’d be cursing the fact that Tom is not a hunter and therefore if I were to desperately go on a search through the house for a loaded gun I wouldn't find one. Then tonight while taking the dogs on a short walk with Tom, I had a sudden urge to eat spaghetti and meatballs. I rarely eat red meat so I took this as a sign that my body was asking for protein and carbohydrates. This sudden food craving put me in the lightest mood as well. Maybe because I realized if I could eat again I’d feel better again? Seems elementary but, when you’re at a point when you think you’ll never feel like eating enough food to sustain life, let alone enjoy it, everything changes when you finally can. So, we ran to the store, bought all the ingredients I needed and I made my most amazing spaghetti dinner ever.