September 27-Day 35

So I’m at the cancer clinic this morning for yet another round of tests and while I’m talking to the oncologist, a nurse is trying to take my blood pressure. The machine they use keeps pumping the little sleeve on my arm over and over until it finally gets a reading. It was 99/56 which is very low so the nurse and doctor look at each other kind of confused, then the doctor said, “that’s pretty low, are you sick or something?” Now the smart ass in me wanted to quip back something like, “isn’t that why I’m here?” or “Did I forget to tell you guys that I have cancer?” but instead I assumed she meant something other than the cancer and so I said “no, I’m not sick.”

Today was another exhausting day at the clinic. During my 8 hours there I met my medical oncologist, had an ultrasound done to check on more suspicious spots, had 3 more biopsies taken and another mammogram. I got signed up for my chemo treatments (with the first one starting on Oct. 12) was given information about using a surgically placed port for administering the drugs through and heard about all of the prescription drugs and their side effects that I will be taking prior to taking the chemo drugs. I was there so long they had to escort me out the staff doors because everyone else had gone for the evening.

The good news is that I’ve made a decision today and told the oncologist that I need to get started and the one thing we can do now is to start chemo treatments. They really don’t care about the order of surgery first or chemo first in terms of my health so I’m tired of the wait and why delay the inevitable, right? So I have a game plan now and it’s a little scary but at least I can move from this feeling of living in denial to the beginning of putting an end to this hell.

Karen